Oh My Heaven, We're in Week 7

The seperation begins as we move deeper into the season. With MP Security in 1st place with 10 points & Irwins/Legends at the bottom with a lone win, the middle of the pack has several teams with 8, 7 & 6 points.

Now that most teams have played each other, adjustments & playing styles are being modified. Lets take a look at Week #7.

I took this opportunity to interview 6 players this week and ask them 10 questions. The final question was to predict the winner of their game. Here goes.

Bearings Group Vs. Alien Joe

Interviewed - Scott Vermulm (Bearings Group)

1) Favorite NHL Team - Penguins of course

2) Pregame Meal - Burrito Supreme & a Mountain Dew

3) Superstitions - Danielson from my team ties my skates

4) Favorite Superhero - Mighty Mouse

5) Favorite Movie - Steel Magnolias

6) Hobby - Rock Climbing

7) Favorite NHL Player - John Tucker

8) Who would you vote off your team? - John Hoekstra

9) My best hockey move - Triple deke backhand

10) Winner of game - Bearings by 8

Coke Vs. Slapshot
Interviewed - Nick Giunta (Coke/YDD)
1) Favorite NHL Team - Edmonton Oilers

2) Pregame Meal - 3 Aspirin & a Red Bull

3) Superstitions - "Cup Check" all my teammates

4) Favorite Superhero - Wonder Woman

5) Favorite Movie - Revenge of the Nerds

6) Hobby - Butterfly Collecting

7) Favorite NHL Player - Jaromir Jagr

8) Who would you vote off your team? - Matt Whitaker

9) My best hockey move - Line Change

10) Winner of game - Coke/YDD by 5

MISF Vs. Legends/Irwins
Interviewed - Kris Hoeppner (Irwins/Legends)
1) Favorite NHL Team - Atlanta Braves

2) Pregame Meal - Egg yoke, banana & tomato milkshake

3) Superstitions - Wear favorite t-shirt from 3rd grade under jersey

4) Favorite Superhero - Dane Lenhard

5) Favorite Movie - E.T.

6) Hobby - Cage fighting & fishing

7) Favorite NHL Player - Yes

8) Who would you vote off your team? - Mark Wente

9) My best hockey move - Between the legs wrap around

10) Winner of game - Irwins/Legends by 6

Alien Mike Vs. MP Security
Interviewed - Cory Sedrel (MP Security)
1) Favorite NHL Team - MP Security (2010 expansion)

2) Pregame Meal - Whatever Mulford's wife cooks for team

3) Superstitions - Never buy the beer, always let teammates

4) Favorite Superhero - Green Lantern

5) Favorite Movie - Bridget Jones Diary

6) Hobby - Writing poetry, riding harley, antique shopping

7) Favorite NHL Player - Kristi Yamaguchi

8) Who would you vote off your team? - All the law enforcement

9) My best hockey move - The water bottle squirt
10) Winner of game - MP by 2

B & B vs. Cup O Kryptonite
Interviewed - Michael Pedersen (Cup O' K)
1) Favorite NHL Team - B & B (I'm a free agent)

2) Pregame Meal - M & Ms, water & slice of cheese

3) Superstitions - Chew tobacco during game

4) Favorite Superhero - Underdog

5) Favorite Movie - Iron Eagle 2

6) Hobby - Roman Greco Wrestling

7) Favorite NHL Player - Bill Wirtz

8) Who would you vote off your team? - Matt Johnson (put us on TV)

9) My best hockey move - "Ref not looking" Hook
10) Winner of game - B & B by 2

Alien Hockey Vs. 11 to 7
Interviewed - Colby Marriott
1) Favorite NHL Team - Boston Bruins

2) Pregame Meal - McDonald's Value Meal #3 (diet coke)

3) Superstitions - No stretching or warm ups

4) Favorite Superhero - Cat Women

5) Favorite Movie - Ishtar

6) Hobby - Competitive Twister

7) Favorite NHL Player - Rob Lowe in Youngblood

8) Who would you vote off your team? - Dave Green

9) My best hockey move - 97 MPH Backhand

10) Winner of game - Tie

Not Your Ordinary Sports Drink

The Alien Joe Team has a new advantage over their competition. The addition of Alienade to the team's nutritional plan was the brainchild of Alien Joe Alternate Captain, Fascian.

"Every game our guys felt like each player added a little something to the team. I decided why not bottle a bit of everyone so we could all share" stated Fascian.

Although not FDA approved, Alienade has some remarkable properties. The combination of ingredients gives everyone that extra "uummphh" when playing. The taste resembles a mix of Sprite, Jagermeister, Cognac & a hint of chocolate milk. Although the complete formula has been kept secret, the primary ingredients include:

Lowell Face-Off
Bafia Saucer Pass
LeFleur Speed
G. Kelley Crosscheck
S. Kelley Youth
Topliff Stickhandling
Bishop Skating Form
Miller Big Body
Clutts Good Looks
Blomquist Brickwall Defense
Fascian Screen & Redirect
Dylo Forecheck
Bast Cartwheel Save
& 100% Nate Brand

Not available in stores. For ordering, please pay $84.99 / can to Mike Fascian. Production of the pictured can not currently available, so bottle provided may look alot like Gatorade.

Side effects include but are not limited to:

• Severe vomiting
• Unexpected fatigue
• Itching & scratching
• Athlete's foot
• Bleeding from the knees
• Uncontrolled penalties
• Excessive outbursts
• Complete muscle failure

Enjoy.

The End.......and Thanks

It is a sad day to make the official announcement that we are closing Alien Hockey.

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of the friends, customers & teammates we have come to know and will continue to have.

Some unfortunate circumstances have caused us to make a smart business decision and move on to other things that will be better for our family.

We will continue to be involved in all areas of hockey. Coaching, playing, organizing, instructing, etc. have become a part of our life and will continue. My plan is to keep the website & blog going as a way to keep the hockey community informed & entertained.

Many have already expressed their sadness about our closing and although we are upset as well, we have already accepted it and are ready to move on. I am a believer that things happen for a reason and some time down the road, another opportunity to reopen may occur. We have done too much to help the growth of hockey at all levels to not be hopeful of a future opportunity.

At this time, we will start the closing process by looking to sell off our inventory. All our inventory is marked down 30% from our already low prices. We hope (and encourage) all of our customers to come take advantage of some great prices. It will be a huge help to me to get this merchandise moved. Some have expressed that they feel bad getting items from me at a discount as its a way of benefiting from our loss. Please do NOT feel this way. We need to move this inventory, so you can help by picking up that stick you've been contemplating, equipment for growing kids, etc.

I am announcing this on my blog first. I will have an email sent out to all of youth hockey in the next 2 days, but wanted to give my loyal blog followers an opportunity to get a first look at items we have.

We plan on keeping our sharpener & skate oven. We are in the process of securing a location to still provide these services. If you have remaining sharpens on your account, we have converted this to store credit for you.

Again, thank you for your support of our store, my blog & hockey. We hope we added something to your hockey life.

Joe & Natalia

Poetry .......in Motion

Week 6 picks have been made using sweet sounding poems as provided by players from the various teams.

It is nice to see that a violent game like ours can still bring out the softer side of our league.

For your reading enjoyment

Alien Mike Vs. MISF (Alien Mike by 2)

sumbitted by: Justin West of Alien Mike

Roses are red, Metro is Blue

Since we will beat them by 2

Our goalie is ready, his name is Blaine

He will drive Pete Anthan insane

You've added Hewlett to your crew

He can't score, but makes a mean beef stew

We have Close, Wheeler & Green

They're 3 of the greatest you've ever seen

We'll smoke your goalie all night long

With Dylo shooting we can't go wrong

As Gosselin scores with his super fast zinger

I'll celebrate using my middle ......

-----------

MP Security Vs. Legends/Irwins (MP by 1)

Haiku submitted by Dane Lenhard of Legends / Irwins

Drinking beer is fun

MP is a better team

We will lose this game

-------------------------

Slapshot Vs Bearing Group (Bearings by 3)

Alliteration submitted by Dean Hemphill of Bearings Group

Storm shall submit to savage shots

Brus boggles all boys by breaking away

Our opponent is only offering old opporunities

Hoekstra, Hansen, Hemphill hit heavily

Defeat, destruction & dismay will cause dem denial

We win Wednesday

--------------------------

Alien Joe Vs Coke/YDD (Alien Joe by 2)

Whitaker's Witty Ways submitted by Matt Whitaker of Coke/YDD

Flowers? Clouds? Air?

What beauty do we breath through our nostrils?

Fate is but a reoccuring dream hindered by sight

Pass? Shoot? Score?

Unkown are these to our dancers of ice

Our trouble is no trouble but can be troubling

Fate is not our destiny to a better place

Fear.

------------------------

D League

B & B vs Alien Hockey (B & B by 1)

Cinquain submitted by Brian Hobbs

Winners

Bishop is good

Kent, Gannon, Haynes Can't score

Close game, cold beer, pizza we share

Winners

------------------

11 to 7 vs Cup O Kryptonite (11 to 7 by 1)

Acrostic Poem submitted by Chad Beyer of Cup O Kryptonite

Killing penalties,

Red line, blue line

Yell

Powerplay is good

Tripping is bad

Overtime, not happening

Net's off!

In it until the end

Terrifying

Evil team wins

Play Games, Get Gadgets...and More

Technology is great. I have learned many things that make my life easier and also things that make life more entertaining.

This blog was something suggested by a customer, and has become an addicting project that is always evolving....I think this customer mentioned you become a "slave to your blog".

Since we started it, I've added some different areas that hopefully have given players & fans some enjoyment. Polls, videos, camp listings, links, etc. are some of these additions.

Recently, we have played with Gydets that allow you to have a constant updated feed on either your site, myspace, etc. for updated info. Some newspaper feeds and NHL feeds keep you informed with the latest hockey news. Thrown in my personal favorite the "Blackhawks Gydget" (very popular with the Red Wing fans) and you can get all the current info.

To top it off today, I've added a hockey game to the bottom of the blog. Although at times its more fun to shoot at the defensmen and watch them take one in the junk, its another great time wasting hockey activity you can do at work to be even less productive than you already are.

I'll continue looking for more things to add to keep everyone entertained. We want to be the "One Place. One. Blog" location for your hockey needs that you expect from us. Just make sure you spread the word to all your teammates, friends & fans to check us out...and let us know what else we should add.

Battles of Epic Proportions

Before I make my Week #5 predictions, I wanted to reiterate for all D League Players that many of you are new to the sport and are just learning the game. Others maybe played years ago and are getting back into the sport. Still others may be are picking up the sport quicker than your fellow players. In the end, when I created D League, it was with the intention of being a developmental league. It was designed to introduce those adults who never had a chance to play the game as kids, but loved the sport enough to try it. We were always making sure that only true D League players were in the league and when players got too good, they would voluntarily move up, if not the decision was made for them. Anyone who feels its fun to be the take over dominating player in D League should not be in D. There is a place for you...its C League. D league has always worked well even though there may have been varying levels of talent.

It is a humbling experience to those top players in D league to play in a higher level. They will also agree that it is more fun and challenging to play against better competition than it is to dominate those still learning to skate or having to "play down" in an attempt to not take over a game. I remember a funny situation where my cousin Mikey & I challenged a group of D League players to a game. It was Mikey & I only (with no bench subs) and Shane as goalie against 10 players. We played 5 on 2 for 3 periods. Those that know me know I'm not by any means a "dominating player" in C league, but Mikey & I won that game 11-1 (I believe). We are friends with just about everyone from that outing and many are on the Alien team.

The point is that it is not fun for anyone to lose (or win) really big. Our Alien Vegas Team experienced this and getting outshot 100-2 was not cool for either team.

When I make my "predictions" and point spreads for C & D League, they are all meant in fun. When I say a team will win by 9, I don't really mean it. Hopeful most know its just a comical spin to make reading about hockey interesting. There really is not a compound for D league players, all quotes by players are made up, and I want everyone to have a great time...so here are my simple picks this week.

B & B Vs 11 to 7 Insurance
The battle of the top 2 teams square off. I simply predict B & B by 2 for this game as Hobbs makes the best Poutine in town.

Alien Hockey Vs Cup O Kryptonite
Alien to win this won by 1 goal. Actually the score will be 1-0, Tony gets a shutout and my wife scores the lone goal top shelf on a breakaway (just cuz I love her so much).

Good Luck, Have Fun & Play for the Right Reasons!

We're All Alive in Week #5

So I was close on picks last week.
I said Alien Mike by 3 over Slapshot...dead on. I said Irwins/Legends by 1 over Alien Joe, and they won by a few more. The tie game between MP & YDD/Coke shouldn't count against me..just because. I said Bearings over MISF by 1, but once I did the article about their pro players, they decided to get us all off their trail and lose by 1, so I should be right there as well. When I said D League was day of the Underdog, I meant day of the "Shutout Dog"..if there is such a thing.

Lets see if we can do better here.

Alien Joe Vs. Slapshot
Slapshot still looks for their first win of the season, while Alien Joe is trying to work out the right combination of lines. Topliff of Alien Joe thinks they should run 9 defense and 3 offense, while Fascian thinks the team should dress 5 goalies. Blomquist wants to play center, but Lowell thinks he should be a 4th line winger. LeFleur is a designated defenseman, but that only last for the face off as he skates past the forwards to try and score every shift. On the other side, Slapshot has been close in many of their past games and just needs to get over the hump. Day has tremendous speed and the puck just doesn't keep up. The Kleven Trio is bound to click as the season goes on, and addition of Jester to the offense will likely help in the long term. Storm brings a 4.5 GAA which means his team needs to score at least 5 to be in contention. Bast on the Alien Joe side has a GAA of 3.0 and has never let in more than 4 goals...but Alien's offense is often times offensive. Tough game to call with 2 teams trying to stay out of the bottom. Prediction-Tie Game

Bearings Vs. Yankee Doodle Dandy Tattoo/Coke Zero
YDD ties up MP Security last week while Bearings is handed a 1 goal loss. The inked players of YDD/Coke are up for the challenge of taking down the powerful offense of Blickley, Danielson & Darr. The powerhouse players of Glessner, Harrelson & Whitaker can take this team to another level at any time. Add to that Koenig & McDonough, and you have a team that cannot be beat....when they are clicking. Bearings is only 1 point behind Coke/YDD and want to knock them down. Coke/YDD has yet to lose a game (1-0-3). Who will break? Bearings by 1

MP Security Vs. MISF
The battle for sole posession of first place is the final Wednesday night game. This game is being called many things..."The Battle in the Saddle", "The Fight at Night", "The Game of No Shame", and simply "The Game". The Stellar 2.5 GAA for netminder Bishop of MP is the backbone of the club. Not to be outdone, Shivers also carries a 2.5 GAA for MISF. Something has got to give. Will this game end in a tie? Will Bartak finally show up for his team MP or will they realize he's a bust? Can Elliott & Roberts of MISF provide some points for a change? Many x factors plague this match up, but in the end Shivers shines and MISF by 1.

Alien Mike Vs. Irwins/Legends
Irwins/Legends tasted their first victory last week and want it to continue. The offense has been provided thus far by Bedford, Lenhard & Madson. Alien Mike is .500 and has won their last 2. "Our team has finally come together and we shouldn't lose another game" predicted captain Dylo of Alien Mike. Barker has been solid in net and Close playing offense should give some added firepower. On the Irwins/Legends side,Mathews is ready for a breakout game. "I think I'll utilize the 3 goal rule on Aliien Mike this week" said a determined Mathews. Dahl & Harper will also add that needed 1-2 punch to the line up and will make big contributions to this game. Too much for Alien Mike to handle in this one as Irwins/Legends by 2.

Good Luck to All!

All the Troubles of Hockey

Everything about adult league is terrible. I can't believe how unfair the teams are and how my team is the only team that is a true C League team. Then the scheduling. Its bad enough we have to start games at 10 PM, but we can't even keep games the same night of the week.

Next, all the players are playing dirty. There is always that "guy" or "girl" on the other team that "everyone" hates. Why do they take it so serious. All me and my teammates do is try and play fair and have fun but the other team always wants to play dirty and cheap. It seems to all work out, because we just retaliate to show them we won't back down.

Now, what about the refs? Are you kidding me? Why do we have refs? What do they have against our team & our players. They never see the other players start the chipiness. They only see what they want. Do they even know the rules? All we want to do is play a fun game and they ruin it every time.

Finally, all these new rules take the fun out of the game. 3 minutes penalties, blue line icing, stop clock in last 2 minutes & a 3 goal max? Again, I thought hockey was supposed to be fun, instead our play is obstructed by all the rules.

Bad times to play, stupid rules, inexperienced refs, unfriendly players & unfair teams make hockey seem like work. I'm just going to keep complaining about this game and this league because its making my life so difficult and miserable.

Pictured are Rocky Kinney (left) & Fred Mersberger (right) both currently stationed in Iraq. As you can see from their jerseys, they played for Bearing Group last season, but needed to take the summer off to serve our country. I bet they would rather be out in Iraq in the nice hot weather. They are probably sitting there right now reading this blog laughing and smiling that they don't have to go through all these problems that we have to deal with in our league. I'm sure its much better for them to not play, than to put up with all these critical hockey issues we deal with every week.

So next week as you sit up in the lounge drinking that overpriced $2 pitcher of cold beer, just think of how lucky we all could be if WE were the ones over in Iraq not worrying about anything and laughing at all these issues.

---Hopefully everybody got my sarcasm. Fred & Rocky, hope to see you back real soon (your team really needs you back). Thanks for reminding me that in the grand scheme of things, all the issues really don't matter as long as we're playing. Thanks for serving & see you soon...we'll save you a $2 pitcher.

D League - Day of the Underdogs

The obvious picks for this week's games would be the favorites of B & B and 11 to 7, but let me breakdown why this will not be the case this evening.

Cup Vs. B & B
Sure Cup got beat by double digits last week. Yes, they had no goals for their team. All of this is a cat & mouse game to make other teams over confident. Goalie for Cup, Storm asked me the other day, "Do you really think I would have that many scored against me? I did it on purpose to get my team fired up and the other teams to think we are really bad." Gutierres & Compton both agreed that it worked. "I think our team formed a new bond after that game. Now we are determined to show the league we deserve to repeat as champs." Pedersen & Seiler added, "We both did Joe's camp on Monday and it taught us how to skate circles around the competition." With the new motivation, I just hope they have mercy on their opposition and not try to embarrass the other teams. After hearing all this talk, B & B Public Relations manager Mark Harpenau responded, "It is not our team's style to try and make other teams look foolish, but tonight, we will make an exception." The B & B team went through a tough first year last season not winning very many. This year, with the aide of off-ice training, physical therapy & motivational speeches by Liz Bryant before each game, the team believes its their destiny to win every game from here on out. I would typically pick the B & B team here to win by many, but inside information has caused me to go a different route. Youngsters Jerimiah Johnson & Colby Kessler are extremely irritated with their team. "Just because we don't have hockey playing kids doesn't make us bad people" sobbed Johnson. "They treat us like we have a disease not realizing that we are the best players on this team." This tension will become even more evident today as Johnson & Kessler play with pillows under their jerseys in an attempt to "act pregnant with child" to try and fit in. Cup by 2

Alien Vs. 11 to 7
Alien had no goals last week and they go against a team that scored 12 goals last game. 11 to 7 Team Captain Anonson has gone to extremes to get his team prepared. Some of the things he has implemented for his players include:
- Players had to quit their jobs and be full time adult league players
- Players are all housed in dorms on a compound that Anonson bought and modified for his team.
- On-Ice practice begins at 5:30 am at the private rink in the compound.
- Culinary experts Gardner & Miller prepare specialized meals
- Goalie Kinzie is tied to a tree daily and pelted with pucks for 45 minutes each morning to make him immune to fear, pain & the occasional groin shot.

All this structured lifestyle has been spearheaded by Insurance Giant & Billionaire David Green. Green owns 11 to 7 Insurance and the team as well. His funding of the compound and team is a high price to pay but worth it according to Green. "Its all about the Trainer's Trophy" proclaimed Green. "We are the NY Yankees of Adult League Hockey and will do whatever it takes to put a winning product on the ice."

This should make 11 to 7 the pick for not only this week's game, but for the entire season, but there is an X factor...and his name is Tony Hansen. For those of you who do not know Tony "The Goalie" Hansen of Alien, let me explain. The man is not human and I consider him the Rocky Balboa of adult league. He goes up against the "Dragos" or "Apollos" of the league and stands toe-to-toe with them. Tony can be seen jogging every morning around Gray's Lake in goalie gear. After 10 laps, he swims the width of the lake, again in his pads. He does not swim with his stick as he feels that give him a paddling advantage and would be cheating.

Once he arrives home, a 14 raw egg protein shake becomes his energy drink. Then to video. Watching 3 hours worth of Hasek, Roy, Brodeur & old school Esposito video, he simulates all moves in his living room. After most goaltenders would be done after all this, Tony's workout is not complete. Waiting for the 5 PM rush our, Tony stands in the middle of I-235 dodging the cars racing past at speeds of 75+ MPH. "It really helps me work on reflex timing" said Hansen. "The occasional car that clips me is good and simulates players bumping into me. I just gotta focus and recover quick." Its this dedication that has me choosing the underdog in this match. Can't wait for Tony to yell at the end of the game..."Yooo Stephanie....I DID IT!" Alien by 1

Closed This Friday

Our store will be closed this Friday, May 9. Our son, Antonio, is participating in a tournament in Minnesota and we need to leave early tomorrow as his first game is Friday evening.

We will be open Sat & Sun as Alycia & Mikey (sharpening skates) will be here.

Sorry for the inconvenience, but hockey calls!

Needing All the Facts!

I have been making these predictions for the adult league for several seasons now. Prior to this gig, I was a top handicapper of the Swedish Elite Co-ed Bungee Jumping Association. Do you know the main difference between these two sports for me? Not an elastic band. Not ice. Its called honesty.

What are you talking about, you are probably asking. Let me explain as I make my picks.

Alien Joe Vs. Irwins/Legends

Gambling on sports outside of Las Vegas is illegal. Most of us know this, but some have chosen to give into this evil and have affected others. I wondered how I would make great picks using all my resources (injury report, defensive match ups, history, etc.) and then be wrong. My question was answered during our last trip to Vegas for our Adult Tourney. A few of us were putting a few dollars on some hockey games to make them more interesting as we watched. As I stand behind one of my teammates, in line waiting to place my wager, I over hear him tell the agent "Give me $5,000 on Alien Mike". Needless to say, I was shocked. One of my closest teammates & best friends was betting on OUR league! He didn't notice I overheard it and smiled as he turned around to see me. Here was a player using inside information that I provided, for his own gain. Then it hit me. Was he also betting on our own games? Does he "create" the outcome he needs for the big payoff? We have yet to confront this individual and we'll call him "Radam Slowell" to protect his identity. For this week's game I'll only play and wonder, "Did he lose that face off on purpose?", "Did he not cover the point and allow that shot on net?" After calling his bookie behind his back, he's got $3,000 against us Wednesday. I'll try to not let it happen, but don't know if we can do enough to make a difference. Irwins/Legends by 1.

MP Security Vs. YDD/Coke

Your only allowed to play for 1 team in C League. In Des Moines that is. What about Ames? Cedar Rapids? Mason City? Kansas City? There are leagues in all the before mentioned cities and each have adult leagues. You want to hear the eerie part? Ames plays Monday. Cedar Rapids Tuesday. Mason City Friday. Kansas City Saturday. Conveniently, our league plays Wed (and sometimes Thursday). Convenient how you ask? As I was sharpening a players skates from MP Security on a Thursday night, I mentioned "Getting the skates sharpened well in advance huh?" They responded (without thinking), "No we have a game tomorrow." As I sharpened the skates, I couldn't stop thinking about what he had said. I knew there were no play & plays. No league games, or make up games, no stick & pucks...nothing. I had to probe into this. While ringing him up (again, identity of pictured player is kept confidential), I could see beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. There was something fishy going on here. With my best investigative demeanor, I nonchalantly asked "So where do you play tomorrow?" That did it. Complete breakdown. Only after 2 hours of sobbing, he confessed it all. The MP Security team has been playing in 5 leagues! They wanted to get better he said and once per week was not enough. He even went on to tell me that they were registered for the Quad Cities on Thursdays to play in 6 leagues, but with the added Thursday game here in Des Moines, that plan was foiled. So we ask, how does this team get that good? Ice time.

MP Security by 2.

Slapshot Vs. Alien Mike

In the game of hockey, endurance is king. In life, youth is king when it comes to endurance. If we took any of our adult teams and put them against a team like the H.S. Des Moines Capitals, the adult team would lose. Not because of skill, speed, accuracy, goaltending or skill. In the game of hockey, all that is overrated. Its endurance. Who can outlast the others. Our league is an adult league correct? Why does Alien Mike have not 1 but 2 players that are 15 years old? Who you ask? Since we don't check birth certificates (and they probably have fake ones at that), it will never come out. I'm sure everyones first reaction is to say "I knew Mikey was young..but that young?" Guess again. Rob Wheeler & Tim Close. Guilty as charged. Do NOT let the gray hair fool you. Anyone of us can go and buy product right now off the shelf and add that distinguished look. These 2 have a rare disorder called angiocartesopgraphelio. It makes them look over 40, but they have every physical ability of a 15 year old. My proof? Once again, caught in the act. As I browsed the aisles of Best Buy one quiet Tuesday at 11 AM (we don't open until noon), looking for the Season Set of Baywatch on DVD, I overheard some familiar voices. I peaked around the corner to my horror to see Rob & Tim playing Guitar Hero on the XBOX 360! Relax, I thought...maybe their testing it as a gift for their kids. But as I listened closely I heard the following:

"Aw no you didn't just nail 'Even Flow' by Pearl Jam ...dawg."

"Let's grab some Mickey Ds, head to the crib and chill."

"For sshizzel. We'll throw out some shouts to our peeps on the west coast on the IM"

After more research I found out that these two "frauds" have been using their younger brothers to act as "sons". That's just wrong. In the end, their endurance will outlast us all and Alien Mike by 3 in this one.

Bearings Group Vs. MISF

Most teams have a sponsor that supports either a person on the team or the sport of hockey. Legends is a fine example of an eating establishment that supports a bunch of guys playing hockey for fun. After all, this isn't serious business...or is it...to some? As I was blogging some previous entries, I wanted to give Bearings Group some recognition and props for sponsoring a team. To research what the company is about, I'd give the old reliable GOOGLE a try. After all, you can find anything on the Internet. Sometimes more than you bargain for. I type in "Bearings Group Des Moines" and the results bring back an address on the top, but no link to a site. Hmmmm...I ponder. As my eyes scan down the page, I notice the first 2 entries are links to http://www.dmahockey.com/. The next 2 links go to dead ends or are unrelated. Here is the scariest part. The next 2 links after that go back to MY BLOG! There is NO BEARINGS GROUP! You think I'm kidding...give it a try. It is a front for a major underground network for rehabilitating professional hockey players. This "group" scours the globe looking for superstar players that need a bit of down time to get back on track. Once they get back to 100%...off they go to the Russian Elite League, Canadian All Stars, and even the NHL. Ask them next time you see them, "Where's Rocky?", "Where's Fred?"..you will not get a straight answer. I can tell you. Both back in the pro ranks. Just a matter of time before "Blickley" & "Brus" get healthy. Who comes up with these non-realistic phony names anyway. How did they come up with "Bearings Group" ?

B - Bringing

E- Every

A - Athlete

R - Ready

I - In

N - Novice

G - Games

S - So

G - Goal

R - Remains

O - On

U - Utilizing

P - Professionals

Clever. Bearings by 1...just enough to hide it.

The fraud continues in D League as well....more to come.

D is for Destruction !

So my Wednesday picks didn't go as expected (although I did pick MISF by 3 and they won by 5). This being said, its time to start putting curses, jinxes, etc on teams.

D League Games
11 to 7 Vs. Cup O' Java

Starting the season 0-2 for the defending champs is not what I expected. With captain Johnson at the helm once again, he cannot seem to right this sinking ship. I have seen him on a number of occasions at his shop as he pours me my double capacino, espresso, chocolate latte with 2 ounces of whole milk and he mumbles to himself "where or where is Richter?" Not the confidence the team wants to see from their leader. Seiler & Whiteman both agreed that it may be better for the team if Johnson steps away from the "C" on his chest and give it to the true leader in Compton. How long will this hungry owner go before changes are made?

As for 11 to 7, a 1-1 start is respectable. A good crew of players that although have no skill whatsoever, still manage to stay competitive. Its the attitude that team cheerleader Beede brings to the table. He has been known to give shoulder rubs in between shifts to his teammates. Although most appreciate this as a way to relieve tension, teammate Gardner says it makes him rather uncomfortable. 11 to 7 wins by 2

Alien Hockey Vs. B & B

Alien Hockey also holds a 1-1 record going into this game and faces their biggest challenge with the undefeated B & B. The Alien crew is a crazy mix of people. How a mix of personalities like they have get along is beyond even my genius comprehension. With a convicted felon, coal miner, Navy Seal, Dandelion Collector, Flea Circus Trainer & professional swordsmen all on the team, you would think there would be personality clashes. Team captain, Bafia, who plays every other game because as she puts it "I can do whatever I want." will be back tonight. With Hansen in net they always have a chance, but will they play together?

B & B on the other hand is a bunch of crazed & rabid dogs. They know the feeling of losing with their stellar performance last season, but new additions like Holloway & Bishop in net, They have a new focus. Potthoff is extremely disappointed about the 3 goal rule as he feels he will have that easy tonight. Just today, Zeutenhorst stopped in to sharpen his skates and purchase a "Terminator" shield for his helmet. He informed me that he does not want the opposing goalie to see the whites of his eyes as he top shelfs Tony all night long. He's already growing his playoff hair & beard only 3 weeks into the season as he thinks it will take a good 20 weeks for it to actually show up. B & B by 2 in this one.