A Goodbye Tribute to Shane Bast

As many know, most of my posts are sarcastic, humorous and most of the time fictional. This post is not.

Many probably know that long time Alien Hockey goaltender, Shane Bast & his new wife (just got married this past weekend) will be moving to San Antonio. Although a great move for them, a big void is left in Des Moines with Shane & Jen's departure.

My goal with this final farewell is to not take away the positives of their move, but to shed some light on Shane and what he has meant to hockey in Des Moines. Most people reading this have either played with or against him at some point in their hockey careers. However, many may not know the man behind the mask as Shane is not the bragging the type, but his heart was all about the game and all who played it.

I met Shane at our Alien Hockey store years ago. He was the team rep for the ISU Hockey Team and was bringing me some merchandise to sell. On one of his visits, he decided to try on some goalie skates. We talked about his playing experience at which point he said "none". Needless to say, he bought the skates and left the store. Mikey & I were puzzled as to why someone would just buy goalie skates and "decide" that they wanted to be a goalie. We figured nothing more of it and felt like we would not see him again. After several more visits to our shop and buying all the gear, we realized he was making a serious attempt at being a goalie. As we were forming our first C League team, we did not have a goalie and talked about possibly giving Shane the spot. Here was a person who supported our business and was dedicated enough to get all the gear WITHOUT having a team, the decision was easy. As they say in stories like this, the rest is history.

Shane has played with an Alien Team ever since that day (even through the dark years of Alien Thug). He has also subbed for just about every team in C League, has played A, B & D, played in the Iowa Chops League and almost every single tournament or event we have put on. Shane never discriminated and subbed for anyone needing it. He's had days where he played several games in a row because that's what needed to be done. I remember a day when a player on our team emailed me prior to a new season starting immediately after Shane's first season with us. The theme of the email was that our team was very good and could be even better if we found a different goalie. As politely as I could, I said our goalie situation was just fine, but the player sending the email could find a new team to play on if they wanted to.

Shane has been an instrumental player in getting our group to travel to Las Vegas 3 years in a row. He worked for me in our shop, helped me take the store apart when we closed, helped move it into PS Sportszone, and helped me there as well. He learned to sharpen skates and become a goalie advisor to many of our customers.

For Shane it was never about winning. Although he frequently got upset at himself (and broke many sticks early on), he never pointed a finger at another player and never said a negative word to his teammates. After each game, the process was the same. If we won 5-4 or lost 10-0, Shane was always socializing afterwards. The game, was after all, just that... a game. He was more concerned and focused on the fact that he was able to be friends with so many great people.

He attended camps like Champions Hockey Academy, he held season tickets to both Chops & Bucs, he has been a regular at the D League, helping me run drills and giving newer goalies advice. For Shane, this was not a hobby, not a form of recreation & not a way to showcase his skill. It is a lifestyle that he lives & breathes. Why else would a person help run practices for youth hockey. He was a regular at my kid's practices as well as Adam Lowells. He was the big "teddy bear" guy out there with no kid of his own, yet putting in the effort as if all the kids were his. He helped out at in the equipment area of the Iowa Stars/Chops and even went to Detroit with me for a hockey trade show.

Beyond the hockey, Shane & Jen attended just about every non-hockey event we put on. Whether it be a Bishop's night out, Dylo Family BBQ or a Blomquist pig roast, Shane & Jen were there. Again, not out of necessity, but out of the friendships he created. Other activities like Fantasy football and paintball were things he did with the all his friends and hockey happened to be a common bond that brought it all together. He took NHL figures and repainted them by hand to an exact replica of each one of his Vegas teammates the first year we went. It was detailed down to the gear we actually wore...and he asked nothing for them in return. He made the D League Trainer's Trophy that we still use today without a request from anyone to do it.

Players both young & old know Shane. As much as he likes to joke, pick on and antagonize others, he truly enjoys playing with everyone. My kid has had many an opportunity to not only skate with Shane but be around him off the ice. Young players like Ann Huyck & Scott Kelley have had an opportunity to not only get insulted by Shane, but also to get words of encouragement. My belief is that its not always about how much you know about the game, but rather how you can make others feel good about their progress, and Shane is always their to help lift someone's spirits.

With the passing of the torch (or goalie stick) by Shane to our new Alien goalies, many things can be said. Dan Bishop tries to fill the skates of an Alien Legend. Although we believe we cannot "replace" what Shane brings to our team, we do know that Bishop will help carry on his legacy (after all, Bishop was Shane's Best Man). Also in the wings, we bring in a newcomer goalie of Lisa Nissen. Here is a person that shows a similar passion for the game as she bought all the gear and jumped right in last season to a D League team. When Shane first mentioned to me he was leaving, we discussed who a good replacement would be and Lisa's name came up right away. You can bring on the most skilled skilled goalie to your team and play extremely well, but if they don't fit in with a fun personality and relaxed attitude, how much fun will it really be?

In would not be fair to end this story without a thanks to his new wife Jen. Coming from a hockey family myself, I know the time, commitment and strain hockey can put on those around us. Jen has not only supported Shane in all his hockey activities, she also encourages it. Through the countless games she has attended and even through the "surprise" gifts she has purchased him, Jen is there every step of the way. For this, the Alien crew, significant others & all players thank you. To show that Shane has a soft spot in his heart for Jen as well, I need to share this quick story. One day on my way to a Chops League game, Shane calls me to ask if I can find another goalie. It being short notice, I said I'd try. My thoughts were that his job took him out of town that day and he was not making it back in time. I came to find out that Jen lost her job that day, and Shane felt it was more important to stay home with her for support and miss his game.

The soft side of Shane came out again at his wedding this weekend. Although he was his sarcastic self throughout the wedding ceremony and most of the reception, he showed his emotion through some tears during a video presentation. The pictures of him & Jen growing up as kids and ending with a short "goodbye" segment from his Alien teammates, even got to him (and most of us). My purpose for this blog entry is not to create any more tears as it's already difficult enough for Shane & Jen to make this move and for us to lose a great friend. Rather, I wanted all to see the side of person that has become a regular fixture at both rinks and know that good people like this do exist and that hockey brings us closer together. Who else would skate the morning of his wedding with 20+ of his closest friends and make an entrance to his reception through an archway made of hockey sticks?


As your defenseman, teammate & most importantly your friend, I say thanks. Not for your goaltending, but for having the huge impact on all the hockey player's lives you have come in contact with. You will be missed and never replaced.

Picking the Brain of a Hockey Player

These games are getting tougher to pick each week. Every team has a dark horse that could shine like a yellow light (its the brightest color as the average human eye sees yellow at 555 nanometers wavelength the best).

With that, I decided to interview the "Dark Horse" from each team that plays this week to get in their head and see what they're made of this week. I asked them all the same 3 questions:

1) What player in the ABC league are you the most similar to?

2) If you weren't playing hockey in the ABC League, what would you be doing?

3) What do you eat before your hockey games?

Irwins Vs. Puck Hawgs

Michael Johnson of Irwins

1) What player in the ABC league are you the most similar to? Lisa Schumacher of the Hawgs
2) If you weren't playing hockey in the ABC League, what would you be doing? Sorting my collection of rare paper plates
3) What do you eat before your hockey games? A shrimp egg roll, 10 cheeze-it crackers and a Yoohoo.

Larry LePera of Hawgs

1) What player in the ABC league are you the most similar to? Nobody is as good as me.

2) If you weren't playing hockey in the ABC League, what would you be doing? Playing in the NHL

3) What do you eat before your hockey games? Rusty nails and kerosene.

Ouch....Puck Hawgs by 5.

Funky Pickle Vs. Kryptonite

Rod Bragg of Pickle

1) What player in the ABC league are you the most similar to? Shane Bast

2) If you weren't playing hockey in the ABC League, what would you be doing? Competitive dominoes (I was a HS state runner up in 96)

3) What do you eat before your hockey games? Whatever i can grab off a table up in Bucs Lounge

Mike Pedersen of Kryptonite

1) What player in the ABC league are you the most similar to? Mike Dylo (we have the same first name you know)

2) If you weren't playing hockey in the ABC League, what would you be doing? Probably playing A League

3) What do you eat before your hockey games? 2 organic chicken breasts, side salad (no dressing) and maybe a Myoplex Power Shake.

Watch for M.P. to tear it up. Kryptonite by 2

Alien Vs. Voodoo

Nate Brand of Alien

1) What player in the ABC league are you the most similar to? Yes. I do like carrots.

2) If you weren't playing hockey in the ABC League, what would you be doing? I would say 14, but I think it may be 18

3) What do you eat before your hockey games? Correct.

Don Mudge of Voodoo

1) What player in the ABC league are you the most similar to? Matt Whitaker

2) If you weren't playing hockey in the ABC League, what would you be doing? Working as a legal assistant for Matt Whitaker

3) What do you eat before your hockey games? No comment.

This is a toss up. Alien wins 4-3 in a shootout UNLESS Whitaker shows up, in which case he gets the game winning goal in regulation.

Ice Hockey Players Can Walk on Water

With 2 weeks in the books, the ABC League is underway. Several tight games have already been played and rivalries have been resurged. Don't let the goaltending faces fool you, or the team names throw you off, its still the same easy going band of goofballs as last year.

Many have asked "How long before you make your predictions?" I will not deny that I made the correct choice this year in Sin City by choosing the Blackhawks to win it all, and although I am now $40 richer, I can still give all those uneducated fans some of my infinite wisdom when it comes to picking a winner.

Game 1 this Wednesday will showcase the talents of the "New & Improved" Puck Hawgs as they face the stamina of Yankee Doodle Dandy. Although no player should be bigger than the game itself, there are rare moments where all the focus is on one person. It's a Favresque type story where a player is deemed as a "has been" only to land with a bitter rival. This master of menace is none other than Sergey Kozak. Last season, Kozak took the Hawgs into the playoffs with a masterful performance in the last game of the regular season. Although the team did not move on to claim the Fleming Cup, Kozak still showed his veteran prowess and shined like a flashlight. Unknown to him, Gannon & Schumacher of the Hawgs had different visions of the future. After dealing stars Beede & Houlihan to Alien in the off-season, it was evident that changes were on the horizon. Hudson loses his starting goaltender job and gets demoted to defense, the overrated Sindelar brothers get sent to the minors and a huge paycut by Bartak to keep his 4th liner winger spot was just the tip of the iceberg. While all this shuffling like a Caesar's Palace Poker dealer take place, Kozak sits patiently by the phone waiting to re-sign. Although he is optimistic, he realizes after 2 games of the regular season that he will no longer be a Puck Hawg. As he is packing his bags to fly out of DSM to play for the newly created Iraqi league, his agent calls and gives him the good news. Yankee Doodle Dandy steps up to fill a void and signs the old veteran to a 1 year deal. "We felt 19 guys on our paid roster was not enough" stated Whitaker of YDD. "With Kozak, we should field a bench of 2-3 players each week."

So now the washed up, has been, under appreciated Kozak looks to show up his old team. With YDD fully backing their newly acquired antique, they are ready to put it the rebuilding Hawgs. YDD by 2.

What do you get when you take a pinch of Alien and mix it with a Cup O Kryptonite? Not sure, but it sounds cool to say. The second game of the night also puts a spot light on 2 players instead of on 2 teams. The goaltending battle between Bishop (Alien) and Anderson (Kryptonite) can be described with one word.....expensive. These two have battled it out for the most money spent on gear for the last several years with no end in sight. Bishop boasts that his leg pads are made of 100% West African Black Rhino hide. Research shows the following:

Probably extinct by 2006.IUCN: database entry.Scientific name:Diceros bicornis longipes.Photo source (Wikipedia).
In 2006, intensive surveys were conducted to locate any surviving West African black rhinos in their last refuges in northern Cameroon. After 48 field missions, no signs were found of their continued presence, although evidence of earlier poaching remained. The IUCN issued a news release in which the chairman of the African Rhino Specialist Group stated: "As a result this subspecies has been tentatively declared as extinct."

Bishop would not confirm or deny the rumors, but many have stated that through his extensive travels, he had hunted and captured the last remaining Rhino and has enough usable hide to make several more sets of pads.

Not to be outdone, Anderson's mask has taken many pucks to it without any visible signs of wear or markings. The strength lies in the material of Boron Fibre. Boron fibres predate carbon fibres as high-modulus reinforcement materials. However, boron has largely been replaced by carbon because of the high cost of the former. They do not differ greatly from glass fibre in tensile strength, but have up to five times the modulus. As the purpose of reinforcement is generally to stiffen, this is a great advantage. Because of the high price, their use is generally confined to niche markets, where its modulus advantage over carbon fibre is essential. Although never confirmed, the mask value is estimated at $167,000 (without the paint job).

As the war of the wallets continue, the game is evenly matched. Shootout with Alien winning on a Keller goal.

By the time the last game starts, most players will be in bed, or at the Ridgemont drinking their 6th pitcher debating why everyone is cheering baseball highlights that are replayed on ESPN for the 9th time within the hour. Funky Pickle Vs Irwins should be an easy ticket to grab from a scalper outside the building. With future ABC League Hall of Famers like Curran, Bragg & Scholz playing for the Pickle , anyone can get a glimpse of what is becoming known as the CBS line. On the otherhand, the Swift, Anonson & Dunn line must be tolerated as these 3 may potentially be the worst line in league history (aka S.A.D. line). Irwins isn't too shabby with their talent either...if you can keep track of who they are. With 3 Nicks & a Rick, a Rich and a Rech, 2 Radcliffs and 2 Hrabaks, this team is a statisticians & play by play man's nightmare. With Maxwell out of the Country on conspiracy charges, the Irwins team becomes Irloses. They are no match for the most famous Cherry Picker in West, or the newly self appointed and crowned champion of Kuub, Josh Feathers. Although this game goes 0-0 into the 3rd period, Pickle unleashes a vinegar fury by setting loose newly acquired Mark Massa. He scores a hatty in the 3rd and leaves it as a final 3-0.

Greatest Golf Outing ......EVER!

I tell this story many times and some think that it may even be a mythical legend falsely created by many beer drinking hockey players after league games, but I assure you this story is true.

As I was sitting in the office of my old hockey shop working on an adult league schedule I read an email from Scott Anderson. it basically stated, "It sucks that we don't play hockey the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Everyone is off the next day so we could socialize later into the night. A tournament of some kind would be cool."

And so, the 3 on 3 Turkey Tourney was born from the loins of myself & Anderson the Great Hockey Idea Pioneer of the Century.

That being said, who better to come up with a Golf / Hockey outing for all adult players in the Des Moines area? Once again, Anderson outdoes himself and has created BLOGDAM (Beer Leaguers of Greater Des Moines Annual Mulliganvitation ).

"But Joe, I don't play golf" is what some may be saying. I ask, does it really matter? Most of you don't play hockey well, yet you still go out and make believe you are Ovechkin on a good day. This event is about what Scott & I believe that our leagues should be.....friends doing stuff together. If you can walk, drive a golf cart & drink beer then you MUST attend this event.

The event is a Scramble format which means you can be a terrible golfer (or never even have golfed before) because your teammates will carry you just like they do during your poor defensive play on the ice.

Saturday, October 2nd.

For $50 you get:

18 holes of golf with Cart
Lunch after the Outing (turkey, roast beef, or ham sandwich - chips - cookie)
2 drink tickets during the outing
Keg beer (Keg will be tapped an hour prior to tee time outside. After your round it will be waiting for you in the clubhouse). Yeah, that kicks some butt.
Raffle entry for any proceeds made from the outing.

There are prizes, contests & more, so you seriously cannot miss this event.

To register you must go to:

http://www.toadvalley.com/BLOGDAM/

I know this Blog entry did not do the details of this event any justice. There is so much more to know that you need to see Scott's detailed entry here:

http://beerleagueblogger.blogspot.com/2010/09/are-you-too-good-for-your-home.html

Events like the 3 on 3 tourney, clinics, camps, leagues, Bucs Games & this Golf Outing do not happen without hard work, ideas & those that put them together. But in order for these events to be successful, we NEED players to actually participate.

Hope to see EVERYONE there!

Free Tip Sheet for Fantasy Hockey Players

I get so excited right around this time of year. A few of my hockey buddies and I get together each year (3rd year now) and do the unthinkable to all hockey purists. We play Fantasy Football.

That's right, 8 of us spend 3 hours drafting through 16 rounds of QBs, RBs & kickers. Countless hours of research on what Defense to take, and what round to do it in. Even the creativity behind the team names we choose requires an intense passion for competition. Jersey Shore Creepers is Lowell's band of misfits. He commissions our league and plays the "know-it-all" role, yet he won the Toilet Bowl last season (7th out of 8 teams). The only team worse than that would be the "Under-Estimators" lead by Mikey. The remaining 6 teams include: Morbo's Marauders (Knipper), Brand Country (Nate Brand-how creative), Mitch Kumstein (Clutts), Blackhawks (Mark Dylo is not fully on board with the whole football thing), Beastman (Bast), and Green Snap (My team named after a crop insurance endorsement you put on field corn).

If you've made it this far through this blog entry, I commend you. Most of my millions of die-hard followers would have stopped after the "We play Fantasy Football" entry located at the beginning of this article. They want to hear about hockey, not a sport where only 16 games are played in a season (that count), once per week, where plays typically last 5-9 seconds with MANY commercials in between. I am not hear to disappoint. The Fantasy Football topic segues nicely into Fantasy Hockey.

Browsing through Barnes & Noble or Borders (not for comics Johnson, so relax), I notice countless books on helping you draft the 15-1 Fantasy Football team. I scan past the Muscle & Fitness, Aviation Weekly & JET magazines to finally find a handfull of Fantasy Hockey Guides. Although the selection is not the greatest, I still find the one I want (why in the world do you put Stamkos on the cover?) and get ready to head out. Wait a minute, I forgot one other important item and that is the ever elusive 2010-11 Fantasy Guide to ABC League Hockey. Not only is it elusive, it is non-existent. Unfair. How does Ben Hudson determine whether or not McCallum is a great pick-up as a defensemen this year for his fantasy team, or another over-rated Canadian?

So for all you skating statisticians, I give you some advice and guidance to help make your Fantasy C League Team better than ever.

The first thing you need to know is that scoring for Fantasy ABC Hockey is much different than the traditional point systems in most NHL leagues. Sure you get points for goals & assists, but its those "other" categories that make or break a Fantasy Season. Here is a breakdown of the Top 10 rated players in the ABC League and why they're stats will give you that much needed value.

10. Tres Hewlett (Puck Hawgs)- 5 points per game are given to a player for every game they sit on injured reserve. That's making bank on this pick.

9. Dave Green (Cup O Kryptonite) - Each player gets their BAC (blood alcohol content) checked after the game. The higher the level, the more points earned. Look for an easy 0.2 - 0.4 per game from this consistent player.

8. Aaron Clutts (Alien) - Each time a player trips on a break-a-way opportunity without the help of an opponent earns 10 points. Clutts is capable of 16-18 of those per season.

7. Dane Maxwell (Irwins) - You think goal scorer right? Wrong. Points here are earned at a rate of 1 for every minute late to a game. No Brainer on this one.

6. Kacy Reeves (YDD) - Most leagues give bonus points for shutouts. We give them to a goalie if they lets in more than 8 goals in one game. In a 30 week season, I'm betting 10+ games.

5. Justin West (Funky Pickle) - Some leagues track +/-, we track DFG (distance from goal) measured in feet. Once a puck goes into a corner, the defending team's furthest player from the puck (aka "the cherry picker") gets point for how far away from the play they can be. West has been ranked #1 in this category last 6 years in a row.

4. Dan Bishop (Alien) /Scott Anderson (Kryptonite) - You can't go wrong with either netminder in this category. Points are awarded for every $100 spent on new gear within a given season. Look for between $14,000 - $18,000 spent individually depending on winter road conditions to Minneapolis.

3. Nathan Pirie (YDD) - Virtual unknown and new player to league will amass many points in the category of borrowing equipment. Between borrowing a jock every game and sharing gloves on line changes, this sleeper will make any Fantasy team a contender.

2. Brian Hobbs (Funky Pickle) - Being ambidextrous in hockey earns MAJOR points. If a player scores 2 goals (shooting forehand) with both a left handed stick & right handed stick in the same game, they earn 50 points. If you've never watched Hobbsy transfer hand to hand during a game.....its amazing.

1. Laura Stein (Kryptonite) - With most leagues, a player's +/- is an excellent indicator of their strength on the ice. In our league, it's no different, other than points are awarded to players that are the most detrimental to their team by allowing goals when they are on the ice. Stein's minus 147 was the worst ever in D League last season (even compared to a horrendous minus-82 by Bill Mikkelson of the 1974-75 Washington Capitals which is an NHL record) should earn any Fantasy captain all the points they need to dominate their league.

Well there you have it. I just saved everyone $6.99 at the newsstand, and maybe even added a little extra in your pocket by moving your team up in the standings and taking a share of the big pot we all play for. Watch throughout the season as I add my "Sleeper Pick of the Week" to help give you that extra push towards greatness.

Wood Stick Anyone

Are you left-handed? Do you like the feel of wood in your hand? Then you just hit the jackpot!

The stick you see pictured above are all brand-new, left handed, premium grade wood hockey sticks.

I have several curves, and to get you an idea of height, the black ones on the far right of the picture are the tallest at 67" high.

The best part is, I only want $6.00/each!

So if you like the traditional wood stick, want a stick for messing around, don't want to spend the big bucks on a composite, or need extra firewood, then don't pass up this great deal.

Let me know via email if you want any (or all ) of these.