Give Me Grief

Busy week and I waited until the last minute to make predictions.

So they will be short since its 5:30, and I still have to get the stat sheets printed.

Even though these are short, they are still accurate. Believe dat!

Alien vs. Red Alert
No brainer. We beat them once and we'll do it again. Alien by 2.

Tattoo Voodoo vs. Irwins
Irwins coming off a disappointing weak knocks the Voodoo down to reality. Irwins by 1

Cup O Kryptonite vs. Puck Hawgs
Kryptonite has lost 2 in a row. The slide continues. Hawgs by 3 (even without Tres)


Sorry for lack of details, quotes, humor, etc. I have come up with a resolution to my dilemma of getting this done. We have approx 97 players in league. If each player pitches in $516, I can afford to not work my regular job and dedicate myself to running a full time adult league. Just think, $516 breaks down to $1.41 per day. That's equal to that cup of coffee you get each morning, or that donut that you really could do without. Ask yourself, what's more important, a liquid wake up drink each morning, or loads of hockey value and entertainment for a year!

Where's Superman?

Last week, I was a PERFECTO 3-0 on picks. A typical week for me as usual, but I'm not going to brag about it just yet.

This week's games are interesting match ups, but I have to start with the late game first.

Cup O' Kryptonite Vs. YDD Tattoo

This weekend was the first ever Pucks & Poker event, where those in attendance got plenty of ice time & an opportunity to show their poker face. Kryptonite's very own captain, Matt Johnson made an appearance in net and afterwards told me he actually hurt his ankle while going down the stairs at the arena. He said it was pretty swollen and would likely miss this Wednesday's game in order for it to heal. Didn't sound too far fetched, until I saw the picture to the right. Yes, you guessed it, Matt Johnson in disguise at a Superman Comic Convention in Argentina. This photo taken by my insiders was from the parade last night. Sorry Matt, the phony beard and leather studded gloves to hide the tattoos won't work on me. Your team loses tonight just for that! Tattoo by 2.

Puck Hawgs Vs. Red Alert

The Hawgs came off a bad beatdown last week, but are ready to roll this week. Team superstar, Mike Bartak of the Hags (pictured below) is already growing his playoff beard. "I know we're gonna make the playoffs, so I thought I'd prepare early" stated Bartak. "It takes some time for it to grow in just right." On the other side, you have a team that made the perfect YDD team get their first loss. This win had great rewards. Tony Hansen & the Battista Bros took a week long tour of Europe promoting their team's new book "1001 Great Hockey Plays", while the team's top cherry picker, Justin West graces the cover. I think Red Alert continues their streak and takes this in a close one. Alert by 1.

Irwins Vs Alien

The season opener had Alien win over Irwins 7-3. This match up offers a whole new look. With the blockbuster deal of Smiley going to Irwins (Kryptonite did not want to match the contract offer) and the addition of star defensemen, Jim Goeke, the Irwins team earned their first win last week. Alien brings 15 strong this Wed, and they also come off a big win last week. "They skate like baby eels in a bathtub of olive oil", professed Bishop of Alien so eloquently. To which team spokesmen, Scott Blomquist added, "We are drinking after the game tonight...right?" Irwins truly wants to take this to a 2 game winning streak, but can they do it against the Aliens....I believe so. Irwins by 2.

How to Create Hockey Nicknames

You will most likely never hear an NHL player yell to their teammate "Hey Ovechkin, I'm open, pass me the puck!" or "Nice Save Khabibulin". Saying a player's entire last name is just too much of a mouthful. Instead, players in hockey all have nicknames. I'm not talking about a nickname that looks good on paper like The Dominator, The Great One or Super Mario. I'm talking about those that you can quickly and easily spurt out of your mouth when on the ice to get that players attention.

Kaner, Buff, Chelly, Mule, Ovi & Hemmer are more like it. There are a few simple rules of thumb & ideas you need to follow:

• Can not be more than 2 sylables
• Take first sylable of last name and add "ER" (Patrick Kane is Kaner)
• Add an "S" (Chris Pronger is Prongs)
• Simply take first sylable of last name (Dustin Byfuglien is Buff)
• Add a "Y" or "EY" to either first or last name (Patrick Sharp is Sharpy)
• Put a spin on name using rules above (Brian Campbell is Soupy - like Campbell's Soup)
• Some shortened version of first or last name (Sidney Crosby is Sid and Evgeni Makin is Geno)

This being said, ALMOST anyone can have a nickname. Here is what everyone will be called from now on in ABC League based on rules above.

Alien

• Jeremy Knipper - Knip
• Mike Dylo - Mikey
• Chris LeFleur - Leffy
• Brendan McCallum - Macky
• Scott Blomquist - Blommy
• Nate Brand - Brando
• Joe Bafia - Baf
• Mark Dylo - Marky
• Mike Fascian - Facer
• Adam Keller - AK
• Gene Kelley - Geno
• Aaron Clutts - Cluttsy
• Matt Haynes - Haynser
• Dan Bishop - Bish
• Adam Lowel - A-Lo
• Shane Bast - Shane-O

Irwins

• Dane Maxwell - Dane-O
• Pete Anthan - Petey
• Bill Goodman - Goody
• Dave Lasnek - Laser
• Rob Wheeler - Trucker (as in 18 Wheeler)
• Chad Beyer - CB
• Brent Hanke - Hanks
• Gary Holloway - Holler
• Michael Johnson - MJ
• Jeff Kennedy - Pres (as in JFK)
• Nick Place - Placer
• Kurt Potthoff - Harry (as in Harry Potter)
• Jon Rech - Wrecker
• Ryan Smiley - Smiles
• Jim Goeke - Gokes
• Todd Garrett - Todder

Kryptonite

• Brook Current - Brooksy
• Richard Huyck - Hitch (as in hitchhiker)
• Brendan Barker - Barks
• Christopher Hill - Hillsy
• Scott Kundel - Kundy
• Tim Close - Closer
• Adam Schnieders - Shneedz
• Adam Edgington - Edge
• Brad Dean - Dean-O
• Dave Green - Greeny
• Brian Gugat - Googs
• Matt Johnson - Matty
• Mike Pedersen - Petey
• Ben Paoli - Pazer
• Blaine Barker - Blaine-O

Hawgs

• Nick Sindelar - Sinder
• Mike Beede - Beeds
• Mike Bartak - FiveO (as in police)
• Howard Hewlett - Tres
• Sergi Kozak - Kozy
• Mike Kielty - Kilts
• Nataliya Dudechenko - Dude
• Pat Hoolihan - Hooly
• Austin Dagenais - Dags
• Dave Gannon - Gans
• Rick Kavan - Kaver
• Lisa Schumacher - Nike (as in shoe maker)
• Terry Sindelar - Block (as in cinder block)
• Matt Tessau - Tesser
• Ben Hudson - Bay (as in Hudson Bay)

Red Alert

• Mark Battista - Batty
• Justin West - Westy
• Josh Feathers - Dobbie
• Brian Battista - Batts
• Dusty Beenan - Beener
• Tod Dunn - Dunner
• Jim Kent - Clarky (as in Clark Kent)
• Casey Miller - Caser
• Dave Swift - Swifty
• Rod Bragg - Braggs
• Scott Brueck - Bricks
• Paul Curran - Pauly
• Joe Henson - Henny
• Brian Hobbs - Hobsy
• Mark Scholz - Scholzy
• Tony Hansen - Hanser

Voodoo

• Dan Toomey - Tooms
• Matt Whitaker - Whitty
• Nick Dawson - Creek (as in Dawson's Creek)
• Ben Griswell - Grisley
• Tim Lewis - Timmer
• Ross Posegate - Poser
• Mark Loverude - Rudy
• Jason Wolf - Wolfy
• Kristen Zorich - Zorro
• Ron Ambrose - Amby
• Nick Giunta - Gin
• Dan Koenig - Dan-O
• Caleb Harrelson - Woody (as in Woody Harrelson)
• Monty Brown - Brownie
• Natasha Kucherenki - Ashton (as in Ashton Kutcher)
• Kacy Reeves - Kaser

As of now, these names must be adhered to. Any misuse of these names will result in a 3 minute penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct. Changing your nickname is only permitted with the approval of the ABC League commissioner & the Canadien Mounted Police Chief.

Its Rivalry Wednesday

All sports have great rivalries. Packers vs Bears, Yankees vs Red Sox, Valley vs Dowling, Canucks & Maple Leafs....the list goes on and on. Our ABC League is no different. The match ups this week are some of the longest running rivalries in sports history.

The picture you see shows Red Alert playing Yankee Doodle Dandy in field hockey. This epic battle back in July 2003 went a record 36 periods and lasted 16 hours. Finally, Tod Dunn of Red Alert (pictured in red shooting), fired the game winning shot as Ron Ambrose of YDD (in blue lunging forward to block) attempted a last second trip. All this as a stunned Ross Possgate of YDD looks on in the background.

So this week is no different. Fierce longstanding traditions continue and here they go:

Kryptonite & Irwins

Back when Chris Hill of Kryptonite was 8 years old playing in the mite league of youth hockey, another kid was chasing him to prevent him from scoring. Chris shot the puck and did score. Chris celebrated by autographing the puck and giving it to the kid he burned (that's right, it wasn't T.O. who came up with that idea first). Til this day, that kid has saved that puck as a memory of what he would never let happen again. Everyone knows how good of a player Chris Hill has become but what ever happened to that other boy? After hopping around from adult league to adult league, he landed a spot on the Irwin's team. That's right, that scrawny, pathetic, worthless defenseman who got burned by Hill as a kid is none other than Irwin's very own Pete Anthan. And he still carries that puck with him to every game in hopes of getting another chance at redemption. And now you know the rest of the story. Anthan gets his revenge and Irwins wins by 1.

Alien Vegas & Puck Hawgs

So the Sindelar brothers on the Puck Hawgs are very close. They play hockey together, live together, work at the same drive thru coffee shop and even have bunk beds. This inseparable duo have a great bond that cannot be broken. About 4 years ago, they got a call that they had another brother. They were not aware of this brother, for he had wondered off at the mall one day when they were all very young and was never seen again. A reunion was coordinated for them all to meet. When the missing brother saw his 2 brothers he immediately sobbed. The resemblance was remarkable and he was overcome with joy. Unfortunately, the reaction from Terry & Nick was not the same. They felt that this "stranger" would ruin their connection and a 3rd bunk beds not an option in a room with 8 foot ceilings. They scowled at the "found" brother and told him to go on his merry way. Once the lost brother saw what was happening, he vowed to be better than them in every way. He started playing hockey but was even cast out of D League for his poor abilities. One day, Mike Fascian of Alien came into the locker room and said he found a stray player on the street. He convinced his teammates that this stray was left out in the cold with no team that wanted him and that if the Alien team did not take him, he would most likely have the unthinkable happen....he would have to play soccer. The Alien guys took the vagrant in, cleaned him up and taught him how to play. Now the match up this Wednesday will finally allow that kid to get revenge on his brothers. That sad, dirty, nonathletic little player is none other than the now beloved Matt Haynes. Alien by 2.

YDD Tattoo & Red Alert

As stated earlier in this posting, the YDD & Alert teams are no strangers to each other. Their teams have not only faced each other in ice & field hockey, but have joined a plethora of other activities. From Cub Scout pine wood derby racing to the Quadathalon (the 4 events of checkers, fencing, pie eating & line dancing), these teams are always battling. Dave Swift & Rod Bragg teamed up to to win Red Alerts first ever title of Potato Sack Racing. This title was previously held for 11 years by the YDD tandem of Nick Dawson & Dan Toomey. When Kristen Zorich of YDD pinned Joe Henson of Alert in the 2007 Galactic Roman Greco Championships , the sports world was rocked. Tattoo Dan has even tattooed "Red Alert = Dead Alert" on all his players across their shoulder blades (except for Mark Loverude who already had "My Little Pony" across his back). This should be the closest game of the night and toughest for me to pick. Alert with a shoot-out win.

Pucks & Poker

You like playing hockey? You like playing poker? Then we have the event for you! You don't even have to be good at either to have a great time.

On Sat. October 17th 2009 at Bucs Arena.
Cost - $30 ---Limited to 22 Skaters & 2 Goalies

We will skate from 11 AM-12:30 PM in friendly game of hockey. After that, we will move upstairs to the Bucs Lounge for a Texas Hold 'em Poker Tournament. Included in the cost is ice time, pizza & plenty of prizes (everyone wins something). Prizes will include gift certificates, hockey merchandise & more! Just added is an Ovechkin jersey for 1st Place! Beverages will be available for sale in the lounge.

Register now at http://www.alienhockey.com/secretevents.htm.

Stressful Times

Its not easy being me. Work a 40 hour /week job, get 2 kids off to school, hockey practice, football games, swimming practice, not to mention doing all the housework (kidding...)

All this and I still have to be money with all my picks. The normal human would buckle under the pressure, but not me. I thrive on it and am ready to make week 4 picks look easy.

This week, I asked 2 players from every team a hockey related question. Based on their answers, I made my decision on which team would win. Their knowledge of the game and creativity were taken into account.

Here goes nothing.

Puck Hawgs Vs. Irwins
Question 1 - Who is the greatest hockey player ever (past or present)?
Gannon (Hawgs) - "Bobby Orr"
Houlihan (Hawgs) - "Brett Favre"
Hanke (Irwins) - "Bill Goodman"
Potthoff (Irwins) - "Me"
Question 2 - What does "O.T." stand for?
Gannon (Hawgs) - "Our Time"
Houlihan (Hawgs) - "On Time"
Hanke (Irwins) - "Bill Goodman"
Potthoff (Irwins) - "Original Treasure"

This game goes to the Puck Hawgs since they at least named a hockey player and got the word "time" correct. Irwins needs some help. Hawgs by 3

Red Alert Vs. Kryptonite
Question 1 - What is a defensemen's primary role?
Kent (Alert) - "Take extra long shifts so others don't get tired"
Hobbs (Alert) - "To put up fences"
Close (Kryptonite) - "To get out of the F$^$!@ way of me coming"
Kundel (Kryptonite) - "To know exactly when the ref is not looking"

Question 2 - What do you call the painted blue area in front of the goal?
Kent (Alert) - "The Forbidden Zone"
Hobbs (Alert) - "The Blue Area"
Close (Kryptonite) - "Get the %*&@ out area"
Kundel (Kryptonite) - "Blaine's swimming pool"

This is a close one. Both had some good answers. I like the passion in Tim Close's answers so we'll go Cup O K by 2.

Alien Vs. YDD Tattoo
Question 1 - What player do you respect most in the ABC League & Why?
LeFleur (Alien) - "Johnson of Kryptonite. To be that bad and still keep playing shows heart"
Fascian (Alien) - "The weird guy with all the tattoos on YDD...scary man"
Griswell (YDD) - "Mike Beede, just because everyone hates him so much"
Wolf (YDD) - "Shane Bast for the whipping he's gonna take from us and not quit"

Question 2 - What's your hockey nickname?
LeFleur (Alien) - "Ruelfel...my last name backwards"
Fascian (Alien) - "Fashion Show"
Griswell (YDD) - "Jennifer"
Wolf (YDD) - "Big Bad"

Looks like YDD Tattoo brings "Jennifer" to a good ole fashion whippin' of Bast and the Alien Crew. YDD by 3

---Maybe not the best idea for making predictions, but it sure showed us that we need to keep our day jobs.