2009 Turkey Tourney Results

A 3rd successful year of the 3 on 3 Turkey Tourney had an unlikely group winning the event. The short-handed crew of Bast, Green, Keller, McCallum & Current went undefeated in 4 games to win this year's event. On the roster, but not in attendance was Fascian. There was a crash of a computer server that caused the trajectory of a comet in space. This comet was now headed to Earth and was going to end human existence as we know it. But good 'ole Fascian saved the day, jumped on a space shuttle, landed on the comet and with the help of Bruce Willis, drilled a hole in it to blow it up. The plan worked, but Mike was unable to attend the tourney. Thanks to Mike for thinking of the tourney and not himself. He will be honored in a separate ceremony at next year's event.

41 players, 6 teams, 20 pizzas, 4 games, 1 ref & an undisclosed amount of beer made this another success. Thanks to all for coming out!

Come One, Come All

Last Sunday, we started the Adult Hockey League Sunday Morning Coffee House Chat or AHLSMCC for short.

A group of players & spouses (10 of us in total) were all at Cup O Kryptonite (Matt Johnson's coffee shop) drinking lattes and swapping hockey stories.

We're going to keep this going and hope to grow it so large that Matt needs to occupy the vacant space next door to accommodate all of us.

Come out again this Sunday (we start as early as 8 am and some held out until approx 11:30) for some great drinks, breakfast snacks like muffins, comics & hockey conversation.

Hope to see you all there!!!

Go to www.cupokryptonite.com for address information.

Gone Too Far

I understand that players have their favorite teams and passionately support them. Some take it to an entirely higher level. Take for example Red Alert's very own Justin West (pictured here). He has missed several Wednesday night C League games to fly to Toronto and support his Leafs. He's told me he only breaks out the Satin for special occasions so we may not see him in it this week, but should the Leafs go to the finals....watch out.

Red Alert Vs. Voodoo

Alert had Voodoo's number last time they met. They have given Voodoo their only loss, and I think they give them another one on Wednesday. Voodoo has had a great streak, but there last several games have been narrow wins. Look for the slide of the tattooed ones to begin. Alert by 2.

Kryptonite Vs. Irwins

Why has Irwins struggled this season? Dancing with the Stars. Several players on the Irwins team have been more focused on the choreography of their hockey rather than winning. Here is a photo of Goalie Daniels and Nick Place working on their new Cirque de Soleil performance coming to Wells Fargo Arena in late April. Kryptonite was my pre-season pick to win it all and that has not changed. Their focus got them the shoot out win last week and they hope to take Irwins out of the game early. Cup by 4.

Alien Vs. Hawgs

Now c'mon, who's gonna believe that the below picture is real. Its sad when real journalism is overshadowed by false stories, one sided opinions and humorous pictures. The question then is if the dogs playing hockey are not real, are the Hawgs for real? Are there really Aliens that play hockey? Maybe that picture is not far fetched (ha ha), after all, the goalie dog has better form than both Hudson & Bast. Alien by 1

Matt Whitaker....Man, Myth...Legend...A Tribute

“Being United States Attorney is the greatest professional experience and honor of my life. I am very proud of what we have accomplished in this office,” Whitaker said. “We have worked very hard these almost 5 ½ years to advance the goals of the Department of Justice. We have been firmly committed to protecting our citizens from terrorist attacks, reducing gang and gun violence, protecting our children from predators, reducing the availability of meth, cocaine, and marijuana in our communities, and protecting the taxpayers through our civil division.”

This was an excerpt from Whitaker's official resignation of his US States Attorney position. Although I will not feel as safe anymore with him not in this capacity, I admire him for making the decision to step down and focus on what has become much more important to him.

No, its not his family, personal business ventures or even a lazy retirement. Its hockey. What many do not know about "Whitty" is his dedication and passion of this great sport. He knew that if he wanted to achieve the top level of the hockey ladder, he'd need to lay down the briefcase and pick up the infamous RBK stick with Datsyuk curve (his weapon of choice).

On November 20 , Matt will be inducted into the Iowa High School Football Hall of Fame at half time of the 4A state championship game. Although a tremendous honor, it will not compare to the thrill of winning back-to-back C League Championships with the Coke/YDD Tattoo Team. Ever since I met this intimidating man in my store, I have come to know a man that has a fierce determination to be the best.

I took this driven individual, got him geared up and said "Go and conquer this beast called hockey." Although it took many lessons, clinics, adult beverages & a trip to Vegas to get him on the right path, the novice Whitaker progressed. You can see in the picture on the left how I pinned him against the boards until cried "uncle" and understood that I was the teacher and he was the student.

I've had the honor of coaching his daughter Alison and instructing his sons Calvin & Lincoln through clinics. There were many occasions when I had to tell him, "Matt, I know you want them on the ice, but its Wednesday afternoon and they need to go to school too." It was this passion for the game that I befriended.

Now that he can dedicate his life to scoring goals, back checking and riding Justin West into the boards, we will see an even better player in Whitty. He has set new personal goals such as 1) Stay on his feet after shooting the puck on a breakaway, 2) Perfecting the "butt" your way into the crease, and 3) Use his legal expertise to "persuade" the ref that the full body check was in fact an accident.

So while the criminals of the state may breath a sigh of relief that Matt is not clicking away at his Blackberry, scouring the streets for bad guys and burning the midnight oil reviewing cases, its the C League player that checks the schedule in advance looking for an excuse to not play on the night their team faces YDD Voodoo.

As I scoured the Internet looking for old photos, articles ,etc of Matt, I came across something that was rather interesting. A kid named Matthew Whitaker plays for the Mustangs Junior AAA hockey team in Canada....coincidence or strange parallel universe situation? You decide.

In the end, Matt may look like a friendly, easy going, teddy bear sort of guy, but beware. The last 5 1/2 years was just a hibernation period for this caged animal waiting to get on the ice.

A New Beginning

On Sunday, November 15, 2009, a new group of adult hockey players took part in their first game of the season.

A bit over 4 years ago, Alien Hockey wanted to get more new adults playing the sport. With the help of Brian Wierson (the remarkable rink manager at the time) we put on a few beginner camps and and formed the first ever D League. The first games had approx 20 players show up and the same 2 teams faced each other every weekend. But through referrals, friends, spouses, co-workers, etc, the league continued to grow. League of 4-6 teams were running for beginning adults. This also fueled the growth of what is now the popular C League.

A "bump in the road" knocked the D League off track in the past few seasons, but with Derek Hickey's help, the dedication of several C League players as well as the new crew of adult players has started the powerful tradition again! (There is already word of potentially a 4th team ready to form just around the corner)

The league has started with 3 teams (Tony's Tigers, Gannon's Cannons & Cox's Crushers) and the first game had the Cannons win 6-5 over the Tigers. The great thing is that the team that does not play has 1.25 hour of ice time prior to the league game to practice. Skating, stick handling & strategy are all incorporated into these practices.

Some join for the exercise, some for the competition, some for the challenge, but hopefully all join for the camaraderie and great friendships that are formed. I just checked the current C League rosters of the ABC League and 38 players got their start in D League. That's approx 40% of our current league coming from new adults added to the sport.

If you get a chance, come out and watch a game. The D League plays on Sundays at 4 PM. They had about 30-40 fans at the last event! Keep recruiting others and have them come and watch a game so they can see how much fun it is. I admire every one of the new adult players that started playing even though they may never have played as kids or even skated! To get on an ice surface while standing on 2 pieces of thin steel while trying to move around a small rubber puck using a long stick takes bravery and everyone one of you has it!

Keep up the great work.

Burn Off Those Calories.....Early

Space still remains in what is deemed the greatest adult hockey event on the planet.

Here is a blast from the past. Its a recap from the First Ever Event. Read Here.

C & D level players all encouraged to register. You don't need a team. We take individual registrations in an effort to make even teams. Play some 3 on 3 Hockey with a great group of players in a laid back environment....and burn off the Turkey Day Calories a day early!

A special thanks to Scott Anderson for coming up with this brilliant idea 3 years ago and Aaron Clutts for his fantastic artistic contribution in designing the logo.

Get Inked, Eat Food & Dance!!!

This week has some unique match ups.

Alien Vs. Yankee Doodle Dandy Tattoo

Coca Cola pulled their sponsorship from the Coke/YDD Team last year after witnessing Harrelson, Toomey & Dawson showering each other with bottles of Pepsi after a big win last season. To the rescue came famous tattoo artist, Dan Koenig. He fronted the 14.6 million dollars needed to buy the rest of the team franchise and labeled it as his own: Yankee Doodle Dandy Tattoo Voodoo. The guys on the team were a bit nervous about the new deal, but Dan put them all at ease by giving each of them a free tat of their choice. Although these were done in strict confidence, I was able to acquire what each player on the team had done.

Nick Dawson - A Dahl's Logo (on left calf)

Dan Toomey - A side profile head shot of Whitaker (on left shoulder blade)

Matt Whitaker - A Northwestern Logo (over top of his existing Hawkeye)

Tim Lewis - A Skeleton riding a porcupine (left butt cheek)

Ben Griswell - "Born to Be Mild" (across his lower back)

Ross Possgate -"R.I.P" representing his initials (down his neck)

Kristen Zorich - A Zorro Like "Z" (across her back)

Jason Wolf - Michael J Fox as Teen Wolf ( front right chest)

Nick Giunta - "Nicky G-Unit" (can't really mention location)

Mark Loverude - "Bags Fly Free" (around left wrist)

Ron Ambrose- "S-L-U-M-B-E-R-L-A-N" (a letter on each knuckle but ran out)

Rod Jones - "Hot" (right butt cheek) "Rod" (left butt cheek)

Caleb Harrelson - A permanent set of eyebrows

Monty Brown - "I fought the law and the law won" (right bicep)

Natasha Kucherenki - "YDD Logo" (both ankles)

Kacy Reeves - Shane Bast's Face (inside left thigh)

Dan Koenig - Alien Figure (right shoulder) *as pictured

The Alien crew is on a downward slide with 2 losses in a row. Last week's line ups were set by Mikey and no success came of it. This week's lines are being set by 3 time Vegas Captain & birthday boy, Lowell...so much of the same as last week. The slide does not end Wednesday as YDD wins by 2.

Puck Hawgs Vs. Irwins

Irwins comes into this week ready to go as they lose a "nail biter" last week. Puck Hawgs bring their 2-6 power record into this epic battle. Can a healthy Tres Hewlett of the Hawgs bring his "A" game? Will the always speedy Gannon tally his first goal? Will the Dudechenko/Dagenais line ever live up to their hyped potential? All these may be answered tonight. Irwins has stated on many occasions that they will only get better as they get to know each other. "We need to bond", stated Captain Goodman. "Nobody knows nobody, you know." With that, he decided to have a get together last weekend in an effort for players to socialize. What better way to do this than have a potluck (which was their team's original name). Here is what each player brought:

Dane Maxwell - Roasted Breast of Capon Topped with Caper Butter

Bill Goodman - Fritos

Pete Anthan - Kiwi in alfredo sauce salad

Brent Hanke - Paper plates

Dave Lasnek - A1 Steak Sauce

Ryan Smiley - Pork Chop Medallions

Rob Wheeler - Hot dog buns, tapioca pudding & salt

Chad Beyer - Twinkies soaked in a vinagrette dressing

Gary Holloway - Amish Snickerdoodles

Michael Johnson - Gallon of oregano

Jeff Kennedy - Flinstone vitamins

Nick Place - Can of Spam

Kurt Potthoff - Wild board served over steamed rice

Jon Rech - White Castle Sliders

Todd Daniels - Brick of Swiss Cheese

Since most of the Irwins players have not recovered from their diarrhea like symptoms, Hawgs by 3.

Red Alert Vs. Kryptonite

Definitely the best match up of the evening. These 2 teams have shown they can win. Although Alert displays a better record, the Cup players believe they are the team to beat. Both teams bring a very balanced line with no "superstars" and good point distribution. Goaltending is relatively even as well and some may argue that Barker of Kryptonite is overrated since he has a stellar defense in front of him. Captain of Cup, Johnson brings a calming tone to the team and even has mandatory yoga for all his players on game days. "We talk about Harness Our Chi" explained Matt. Seen here is some of their focusing exercises: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1013581/harness_your_chi/

Red Alert on the other hand follows a different approach. "We are mass chaos" yelled Hansen of Alert. "We run around not knowing what's going on in hopes of getting lucky." They credit this craziness to good old fashioned break dancing. View each one of their players doing routines here (make sure you notice Paul Curran in the Allen Iverson jersey). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tlqJhShjGw

Craziness beats calmness, Red Alert by 1.

Lacrosse In Des Moines

With no hockey down at Wells Fargo, Lacrosse may be the next best option. If you haven't seen this played, its about as close to hockey as you can find. Great speed, team play, checking & some cool plays. See here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9Zytgixk6g

So here is an opportunity for you and your teammates to get together and do something as group. Contact Jason Evans @ jevans@iowaeventscenter.com to get a group deal. There's no reason we can't get a big group of hockey players to attend this great event.

For more info on Lacrosse in Des Moines or how to get involved, check out this site. http://centraliowalacrosse.sports.officelive.com/default.aspx

Pa Pa Paparazzi......

Puck Hawgs Vs. Yankee Doodle Dandy Tattoo Voodoo

With both teams coming off dominating wins last week, this will surely be a great match up. "We're a solid team" claims Griswell of YDD. "Just feed me the puck and I'll do the rest." As the stats show, Griswell boasts 5 goals and a big ZERO for assists. On the other hand, YDD assist leader Whitaker shows his team support with 6 helpers on the season (either that or as the captain he's claiming points he's never earned....you decide). Then there is no debating the non-producing Monty Brown (0 pts). Early season rumors have Brown going to the Puck Hawgs mid-season for a player to be named later and a bag of Fritos. Expect a big game out of Toomey on the scoreboard, while Ambrose locks up the back with some solid defensive skills.

The Hawgs come full circle this week by getting their matching socks. "For the past 6 weeks, everyone's called us losers, fools, chumps, dog meat, ugly, weird and much much worse", stated Gannon. "Now I know most of it's true, but dog meat?...c'mon." There are no superstars on this team. With the point distribution being almost even across the board.....wait...who am I kidding. Could they really win without Sindelar? "Don't you wish your boyfriend was hot like me", sang Sindelar last week as he taunted the Kryptonite boys in his stellar performance. Hidden behind that talent are a few other stars like Tessau (0 pts), Kavan (0 pts), Schumacher (0 pts) and T. Sindelar (you guessed it...0 pts). Bartak & Kozak are ready to take the winning streak to two.

Too much to handle with YDD and all of Whitaker's assists. YDD by 2

Red Alert Vs. Irwins

With the HUGE upset win last week over Alien, goaltender Hansen feels invincible (as he should since he faced 100+ shots last week). "Tony just bragged all night about how he won that for us" sighed Kent of Alert. "He gave us no credit and made us feel like garbage". Tony even went as far as calling West who happened to be on a safari in Africa that week. "I couldn't believe he called me after the game" stated a shocked West. "He said I never needed to come back since he could single handedly win every game." Much tension within the Red Alert ranks as Miller, Swift & Henson all come to rink dressed so they don't have to share a locker room with the big headed Hansen.

Irwins took a tough loss last week to the first place Voodoo. "I knew it was going to be bad when I saw Koenig holding a Voodoo doll of me during warm ups" mentioned Wheeler of Irwins. Anthan & Hanke are ready to step us leaders of this team and get the sinking ship turned around. "I want all on the team to feel like men" boasted a confident Anthan. "It wasn't right watching Holloway sob like a 3 year old in the arms of his wife after the game." The acquisition of Smiley has made a slight impact, but not the BOOM the team was hoping for. "I knew he was overrated the minute we got him" laughed Lasnek. "With a name like Smiley what did we expect!"

Tough match this week, but the big heads of Red Alert prevail! Alert by 3.

Alien Vs. Kryptonite

Redemption is on the line for the final game of the evening. After an embarrassing 7-1 defeat the last meeting, the Alien guys want some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. "Shane better play like he cares this time" proclaimed LeFleur. "Last time it almost felt like he threw the game." The Alien roster should be in full force again for this match up. "With every player in attendance, we show our commitment to beating this team" declared Bishop. "Well I guess it would be nice to have Blomquist not show up so we don't have that extra center when he's out there." Team Alien has put all their faith in 1 player...Mikey Dylo. Not for his great skating ability, but he holds the responsibility for creating the lines for this match up.

Kryptonite on the other hand comes off a disappointing loss last week. The defense of Dean & Hill were more like Torvill & Dean (figure skaters for those who don't know) in the last game. "Pathetic.....absolutely pathetic" cried Close. "We could have skated 3 forward and no defense that entire game and the score would have been the same". Schneiders agreed and felt like he did not play his best game. "I miss the captain Johnson" sobbed Schneiders "Is cheering for his beloved Yankees more important that playing your hockey game?!" Green & Huyck should have a strong game and look for points for both of them.

In the end, Shane falters, Mikey is asked not to do lines ever again, Bishop has to perform CPR on himself and Kryptonite wins by 2.