Never a Good Reason to Miss a Game

The Alien Joe hockey team has been on a recent tear. Winning 9 of our last 10 games, we have moved into a tie with Legends for 1st place on Wednesday nights. This can be attributed to our tremendous teamwork, religious work ethic, but most importantly, our dedication to playing every game. This being said, there are times when one of our players can't make a game. This is where each of us as teammates decide whether its a good reason to miss. Here are the top 10 reasons players have missed a game this season.
10 - Sore Heel - The physical pain I was feeling was not enough to generate any sympathy from the guys. I missed with what I still call bursitis, but the rest just called me a wimp
9- Momma Mia - This was a doozie. Top centerman, Adam Lowell felt it was more important to spend time with his wife watching Momma Mia which according to their website is described as "The story-telling magic of ABBA’s timeless songs propels this enchanting tale of love, laughter and friendship, and every night everyone’s having the time of their lives!" Yeah, much better than hockey.
8 - Brazil - Leading shot re-director, Mike Fascian is always travelling somewhere. Florida, Vegas, Guam, South Korea are just a few of his weekly "business" getaways. But when he busted out the "I'm going to Brazil card", we thought that was over the line.
7 - Cruise - Blaine Barker does not see many shots with the stellar defense he has in front of him. Occasionally, he may make a lucky save and gets all dramatic about it. When he told us he was missing a game due to going on a cruise, we thought the defense should be invited along as his guests.
6 - Sleep - The Iron Man himself, Tim Close who never gets tired and the first to rip you if you miss a game felt sick one day and decided to take a nap before the big game. As he awoke to the Good Morning America theme song the following morning, he realized something was wrong.
5 - Poker - Although this one hasn't happened yet, I am entered in an Iowa Stars Poker Tourney next Wednesday. The decision is whether to stay and beat Alien Mike yet again or attempt to win $11,000 in prize money...maybe Team Mike has a chance with me gone....nah.
4 - Sinus Infection - Dan "I play breakfast hockey, lunch hockey, supper hockey, NHL 2008 hockey, TiVo all games, guns n hoses, Hockey night in Canada" Bishop misses due to a "sinus infection" ? Whatever.
3 - Triathlon Training - We lost a player earlier in the season to a prior commitment. He felt triathlon training came first. Isn't hockey made up of 3 events? Warm ups, the game itself & the beer drinking after?
2 - Wrist - Fascian misses a game due to "precautionary measures" for what may be a broken wrist. Funny how he still bowled a 275 that night....must of used his other hand.
1 - Van Halen - Topliff & Lowell both state that they cannot make the Feb 6th game. The team assumes Adam is donating his kidney to Shawn, only to find the two of them are humming "JUMP" as they prepare to see tired old Van Halen.

As you can see our team is full of them, but somehow we still manage to win.