First Game Predictions

With my exceptional prediction record from the last several years, I have decided to market my betting line picks on the open market and charge for my services. This software will be available on Amazon for the low price of $49.99.
The benefit of playing in our ABC League allows registered players to get these picks at no charge. So here are Week #1 predictions...enjoy.

Alien Vs. Irwins

The first game of the 2010-2011 season pits Irwins & Alien. Once again, Goodman captains Irwins "New & Improved" team this year. With the powerful force of the Radcliff Family joining the team, Irwins is a front runner for a shot at the title. Goaltender Daniels returns for another season after spending the Summer in Norway, working with the National team's goalie coach. "He showed me how to use my glove", stated Daniels. " He said if I actually open my glove, I have a better chance to catch it."

Williams & the Harbak duo have also been added to the roster which should strengthen that teams beer drinking ability, but not much more than that. With Lasnek & Maxwell returning to score all the teams goals, they should have a strong showing in Week #1. Goodman's incentive of a free bike to all players for every win should go a long way to motivate his players.

Team Alien loses its 1st and only goaltender in Shane Bast on October 1st. He will be playing the first few games, so the team is motivated to win a few games in his honor. The off season acquisition of Beede & Houlihan makes the Alien Team stronger than ever. "We brought Houlihan over to get more offense going", remarked newly elected Captain Fascian. "I'm still not quite sure why we got Beede, but I think he was part of a multi-player package." Mikey & Knipper both signed million dollar deals with CCM & Bauer respectively and are promoting their manufacturer's new skate line. "These skates #u%&'n hurt" cried Mikey, while Knipper proclaimed that his feel like the Elmo slippers he has at home.

LeFleur was brought back after much debate. "He wasn't producing last year and he's at the tail end of his career", stated returning power forward Adam Keller. "We thought we'd give him another chance to show us the LeFleur of the 1980s. The main core of Alien remains and although not glamorous last season, they still found a way to NOT win a game in Vegas.

Alien wins the season opener by 2.

YDD Voodoo vs. Cup O Kryptonite

As YDD unveils their new jerseys for the season, it is apparent that offsetting expenses is way more important than actually playing hockey. Gone are the days where their single season sponsors included: Yankee Doodle Dandy Tattoo, Atlantic Coco-Cola Bottling Company, The US Army, O'Douls and Sham-Wow. Now team captain (and attorney) Matt Whitaker looks for every opportunity for a revenue stream. "We feel that there is no reason our jerseys should have any blank spots" said Whitaker. "We even offered to put the Irwins logo just between Tuja & CCM for a mere $1200, but they declined". The loss of star defensemen, Nick Dawson, puts a big hurt on the YDD team. The young highly drafted Nathan Pirie will need to fill those shoes earlier than YDD expected. With only 7 total games of hockey played in his career, he will need to develop very quickly. The enforcer role has been filled quite nicely as well. Dave Miller (played for the now defunct Punishers) has been added as a replacement for the always feared Kristin Zorich.

Cup O Kryptonite knows they have a target on their back..but they're ok with it since they are shooting back.

The "guns" of Current, Hill, Dean, Paoli & Johnson (ok maybe that was a stretch), are all back to bring even more pain to the rink and run over anyone in their way. This team is the perfect example of what "reloading" means. New addition Paul Knight comes from winning a championship team in his prior league. Laura Stein also joins the Cup O K team, but forecasters predict this as the biggest bust of the season. "She didn't perform as well as expected this past Summer when I drafted her" remarked Brian Gugat who captained the Summer team Laura played on. "I advised against taking her to the Cup team, but I guess now we will be linemates." The Cup team does lose some talent with a new netminder as well. Outside of a few differences that include speed, agility, skills, endurance, passion, work ethic & good looks, Scott Anderson is slightly similar to retiring goalie Blaine Barker. They both wear leg pads, a goalie mask & have goalie skates....beyond that nothing.

YDD wins this one by 4 in a game that Anderson wishes he would have sat out.

Funky Pickle vs Puck Hawgs

Why not, Weird Apple or Eccentric Cat Food or Strange Cactus? Funky Pickle? The Red Alert team now goes by the new team hoping for better marketability. Foam pickles to wave in the crowds, stuffed pickles for give-a-way nights and even the ever likable "Peter the Pickle" mascot to entertain the kids are some of the attractions you will see. "Red Alert is soooo 2009" yelled Dave Swift. "Everyone loves a good funky pickle!" Although the team name may be humorous, Rod Bragg's shot from the point is not. The return of Jake Anonson was a surprise to all and should help the Pickles to another shot at the title. "We didn't think the judge would shorten his sentence that quickly" answered a smiling Tony Hansen, captain of the Funkies. "He still can't be within 100 yards of any retirement community, but we're trying to let the past be forgotten."

Puck Hawgs were well on their way to show all other teams that they were the team to beat until the loss of Dave "The Cannon" Gannon's thumb during an exhibition game against the Kansas City School for the Blind. Dave attempted to block a shot with his bare hand and it took his thumb clean off. Even though Krultz finally learned what off-sides was, Tres will make at least 16% of the games and Hudson takes his atrocious play out of the net and into a forward position, the team will be 0-9 until Dave is cleared to play again.

Pickles by 2.

Good Luck to all!

Team Promo Videos

Every team was supposed to create a promtional video as a way to introduce their team prior to the start of every game. I only have team Aliens, so here it is.

Enjoy.

ABC As Easy as 123

I'm sure everyone is ready to start playing soon, and on September 1st it all begins. Although most have taken a much needed rest and break from hockey, I have not. Actually, I did take a long 3 day weekend to vacation in Akron, Ohio visiting the Goodyear Tire & Rubber Company, but then it was back to business.

Immediately after the Championship game, I spent countless days dealing with the press and their questions about the legitimacy of the Kryptonite team. The accusations of illegal coffee levels on the team would not go away so testing of the players began. Although all players passed the testing, rumors still continue to spread that team owner & Cup O Kryptonite owner Matt Johnson has designed an Espresso "cover up" drink to hide any excessive levels. This is still being investigated.

Beyond the scandal and controversy, the pressing issues of the facility needed to be addressed. The Puck Hawgs were not content with their locker room facility and had many demands of upgrades that needed to be met or they threatened to leave the league. The value of the Hawgs to the ABC League cannot be measured so all accommodations have been met and some of which include individual custom oak sections, therapy pool, 8 life fitness cycles, 2 massage training tables and a fully stocked cooler of Coors Light for each game.

Prior to the start of registration, I needed to make sure certain personnel issues were addressed as well. With Blaine Barker's retirement from the league, the champion Kryptonite team was in need of a replacement. The Cup o' K scouts were feverishly looking and found a potential candidate in Scott Anderson. Scott was not an unknown and is a 15 year veteran of the BHL (breakfast hockey league). As Johnson and Anderson began talks of a contract, the deal went south in a hurry. Anderson was asking for a league high 17 year deal, while Cup was persistent in a "game by game" option in hopes Blaine would have a change of heart. As league arbitrator, I was asked to step in and negotiate a fair deal for both parties. In the end, Anderson earns a 1 year deal paying 4.25 dollars. As a signing bonus, the team agrees to massage his legs after each win, and a full sponge bath with any shutout.

Other items I had to deal with included acceptable team names and jersey colors. Team Red Alert believed that there fan base was dwindling and a new marketing strategy suggested that a name change was in order. They came up with the name "Terrifically Fantastic Hockey Team & Best on Planet". This was quickly rejected as it would not fit on the website, stat sheets and made jersey cost $625/jersey unaffordable by all. The alternate name of "Funky Pickle" will be used.

YDD decided that baby blue was so 2009, and the the name YDD was often mistaken for Young Dirty Dads, a name & jersey color change was suggested. Team captain Whitaker submitted black, white & red for colors and felt that an Indian head and name of "Blackhawks" would be better received. After much debate on potential copyright issues, attorney Whitaker agreed with me that sticking with YDD was a better idea.

The final debate of league start time was probably the most heated. Most players pushed getting the start times to be 10:45 PM, midnight & 1:15 AM. They argued that this schedule would allow more socializing and drinking time prior to game starts. The fact that many players could not stay after games had them believing that starting games later would allow everyone an opportunity to hang out prior to a game even though most would not make any of the actual games. I decided against this and a similar schedule will be kept.

All in all, a busy yet productive summer has made me hungry to play. Now that politics, paperwork & pressing issues have been resolved, its time to get ready to drop the puck.